THERE’S been no updates here for a fortnight (you’ve simply had to stare at Emily Thornberry’s bust arm, for which I apologise) because I was taking a holiday in Spain. P’ah to your secluded Caribbean beaches, I was in Majorca, a spot in the north east of the island where nearly all of the tourists are German. I figured that if you have to listen to other people’s babble when you are sipping orange whips by a pool then it’s much better if you can’t understand what they are saying.
Still, it was a strange sight given how many Germans were in town that at the open-air mini-disco every night DJ Music Maestro, or whatever his Europop name was,would play ‘I Am The Music Man’ for the ice-cream fuelled Munichian children. It’s an age old tune but of course shifts effortlessly from pia-pia-piano to the Theme from Dam Busters. That’s the scene: 50 or so little German toddlers in Bayern shirts dancing away, surely unaware that the stirring music most famously accompanies a film about bombing raids in 1943. Fortunately, the reps leading the dance routines did not hold out their arms and wave them up and down…
Then we had another orange whip.